OK.......from time immemorial being selfish has been considered unspeakable but wait a minute, before you think of what to offer other people think of what you can offer you.

Here are some self-assessment questions

What can I do for the people around me?

Can I do that for myself?

These questions even apply to simply buying someone a gift, for example, a pair of shoes for their birthday. whatever your relationship maybe with this individual, family member, friend, sister even brother or spouse.......it doesn't matter but would you buy yourself a pair of shoes sometime or are you still rocking the same pair of shoes for a year, but somehow you still think the other person is more deserving than you.

In life we are surrounded by different people, everyone is looking out for themselves, everyone wants to receive but very few can give even the simplest of things like care, love, support, listening ear, understanding, etc. in order to give, you need to first have what you want to give, if you love yourself, its easy to love others, if you forgive yourself, take care of yourself, understand yourself then its easier to show the same to others.

Every time you try to give what you don't have, you drift into pretense and having a lot of expectations from the other person ,such expectations cause a lot of resentment, anger, and anxiety if not fulfilled, this builds tension within us and if not handled we end up depressed even when we don't realize.

Self-love is beyond gifts, its everything we are willing to offer someone else but cannot offer the same to yourselves, so focus on selfishly loving yourself in that way, you can be a better friend, brother, sister, mother, father or even spouse.

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